cow tipping: wrestling with youth ministry

reverse "photo in need of a caption" contest

I need an image. I am working with our media people to create a program for my ordination. I don't want the typical store bought program with a cross or dove on it. I'd like a program that depicts my calling to middle school ministry (and the Church of course). I will give a $10 Starbucks gift card to the person who sends me an image that best represents the calling to middle school. I need it by Monday!

Also, I will send a $10 Starbucks Gift Card to the person with the best idea of how to incorporate an "art project" into my service. Selfishly, I want a memento of this exciting event in my life. I think it would be so special if the students had a chance to literally put their fingerprints on this celebration.

UPDATE: You all suck at this game! Maybe its because Riddle had such a great idea. We have a very gifted resident artist here at the church, but I don't share his taste in art. He's more of a Thomas Kincade type of guy. I'm more of a Mark Rothko fan. When I went to our artist with Mark's idea and one of my favorite Rothko paintings, he got excited. I'll make sure to post pictures of the finished piece of art next week.

Soul Searching Movie Night with Parents

I have been working through Christian Smith & Melinda Lundquist Denton's book, Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2005) the last month. It's my second time through 300+ page text book, but my first time as a youth worker (as opposed to a student reading it for a grade). Since my first time reading it, they have taken the findings from the book and created a 70-minute documentary film, Soul Searching: A Movie About Teenagers and God. The film is wonderful. Great discussion of the book and interviews with students, parents, youth workers, and the researchers. I was so moved by the film that I scheduled to showings of the film for parents this month - the first is tomorrow night. I have prepared an 8-page handout summerizing the book, but I will also have a pile of the $35 books for parents to purchase. The only aspect to the evening I have not prepared for is the discussion. The DVD comes with a 20 question study guide, but with only 20 minutes, I am not sure where to begin. I think it will take 10 minutes just to revive the parents from the shock and unbelief (and perhaps denial) from the film. If you have seen the film or read the book, what ONE question, would you want parents to disscuss?

The topic I want to discuss is “MORALISTIC THERAPEUTIC DEISM” the religious outlook that is distinct from the faith commitments of most religious traditions. Moralistic Therapeutic Deism serves as a “default position” for teen religiosity when religious communities’ engagement and education of youth is weak. Teens value and engage in religion not for the sake of God, or the common good, or for composing an identity or distinctive community, but for the instrumental good it does them. Religion is not particularly necessary, but it can be useful, especially in terms of validating what youth want to do anyway.

Moralistic: Oriented toward being good and nice, in ways that affirm certain moral claims (for example, “You should never have sex with someone you don't really care about.”) in fairly arbitrary ways without their being integrated into any larger, coherent moral tradition.
Therapeutic: Primarily concerned with one's own happiness, personal comfort, and emotional wellbeing—in contrast to, say, a focus on glorifying God, learning obedience, or serving others.
Deism: A view of God as normally distant and not involved in one's life, except if one has a problem one needs God to solve, one can call on God to fix it and make one feel better. In other words, God functions as a combination "divine butler" and "cosmic therapist".(See Tony Jone's interview with Christian Smith)

If that isn't bad enough, the real punch in the gut is that the research finds it's the parents' fault. The best social predictor of what the spiritual life of a teen will look like is to ask what the religious and spiritual lives of his or her parents look like. By and large, parents “will get what they are.” Youth workers can be very influential, but parents are most important in forming their teen's religious lives. How do you address that topic and still keep your job? Seriously, I'm trying to craft the perfect discussion question that will allow for the best responses. The trick will be to focus the discussion so it doesn't go off in some tangent-laden rats nest.

Ordaining a Middle School Pastor

I am going to be ordained Sunday, April 27, 2:00 pm, It is an awesome confirmation of not only my role in the church, but also our middle school ministry. Our church is making the statement, "We care about middle school students and their families enough to provide them with an ordained minister!" The entire church is invited, but we are making a special point to invite all the middle school students (past and present) to be a part of the service. I have the great opportunity to help plan the service and I would love to have students as involved as possible. I would appreciate hearing from any of you that have seen students involved in this type of service. Any ideas would be great!

By the way, if you are reading this post, you are more than welcome to attend! I think we are having cookies and punch after the service!

4-Way Grinder

I'm not a big fan of silly, sweaty games in middle school ministry, but the 4-Way Grinder is one of the best inventions created by humans. You put 4 people in inner tubes attached together by seat belt materials. You yell "GO" and everyone runs to their corner to retrieve their ball. Last night I witnessed a 7th grade guy's pants slip down to his ankles. This clip was the staff round (why there is only 3 staff I don't know). I love how my staff person, Matt, falls down and rolls around.

Top 5 Reasons Why I Financially Support Stuck in the Middle...and Sean Meade!

Top 5 Reasons Why I Financially Support Stuck in the Middle...and Sean Meade!
5. He is a fellow big guy and I don't feel quite as freakish standing next to him.
4. Stuck in the Middle is a well organized ministry with a great team of volunteers who are dedicated to serving middle school students.
3. Sean has the cutest kids and the sweetest, most supportive wife.
2. Stuck in the Middle loves middle school students and it maybe one of the only ministries fully dedicated to these underserved students.
1. Sean, his family and his crew of supporters are passionately and courageously following God's calling on their lives!

Please READ this newsletter and DONATE $10 (or more) TODAY!

Stuck in the Middle desperately needs your help, and more specifically Jill and I need your help. Three years ago Jill and I sold our home and one vehicle to help raise the capitol to launch Stuck in the Middle.  Since then we've worked hard to fund-raise and build support for this ministry.  Stuck began as an annual event in Kansas City, but in 2008 and 2009 it will go national with events in Dayton, Orlando, Los Angeles, Kansas City, Seattle, Colorado Springs and Honolulu.  Those events will impact the lives of thousands of middle school students, exposing many to the gospel for the very first time.  In addition to those events, Stuck will also be involved with national training events, school programs, summer camps, retreats, and multiple other outreach programs.  From a ministry viewpoint, it's amazing to see what God has done in such a short period of time. From a business viewpoint, the increased activity means that Stuck will finally be able to stand on its own two feet and be financially independent.  But these events are still a few months off, and we need your help to survive until then. 
               
This is the part of the email that is very difficult to write.  It's difficult because it is humbling to admit the great need that this ministry and my family have for your support, and because I've learned that when a ministry struggles financially, many see it as a lack of God's support.  I believe in the work that God is doing and has done through Stuck in the Middle, and I believe in the work that is still to come.  I believe we are following God's will for this ministry, but the reality right now is that Stuck in the Middle is financially running on empty. 

Here's the bottom line:  We have nothing left in our account to pay the bills for April, or to pay my salary tomorrow on April 1st.  The humbling truth is that the Meade family's rent is due on Tuesday, and without that paycheck we do not have the means to pay it.  Nor do we have the means to pay the other bills that the paycheck would normally cover, or the rent and bills that Stuck in the Middle has due at the first of the month. 

For the first three years that Stuck in the Middle existed, I did not receive a salary from the ministry.  In January the opportunity came to take this ministry national, and we felt God's leading for me to go full-time.  Since then I've accepted only 40% of the approved monthly salary that our board of directors voted for me.  Jill and I knew that we could make ends meet if we kept our budget very tight, and we felt that we should not receive full salary until the ministry could fully support itself and was 100% debt free. 

So how can you help?  My answer to that would be to please do something, and please do something right now.  It doesn't matter if you give $10 or if you give $10,000.  If each person reading this email supported the ministry with a gift of some size, the crisis would be swiftly averted.  Stuck in the Middle is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization, and any donations are tax-deductible.  You can donate online right now using your bank or credit card by going to Stuckinthemiddle.com and clicking on the "Support" tab.  You can also mail donations to "Stuck in the Middle, 405 South Sunset Drive #4, Andover, KS 67002". Because of the immediate need, please do email me and let me know if you are choosing to help us out and how much you are contributing.   

This process is as frightening as it is humbling for me. Starting in June we'll have money coming in from summer camps and a few other sources, but in the meantime both Stuck in the Middle and the Meade family don't have the means to survive without your help.  Would you please prayerfully consider supporting us with a one-time contribution?  You'd be helping me support my family as I continue the work that God has called me to, and you'd be supporting a ministry that is making a difference in the lives of middle school students nationwide.  I cannot thank you enough for your contributions and prayers, your support is a great blessing to me, my family, and the lives impacted by this ministry.  Thank you so much for your support. 

In His Grip,    
Sean Meade
Founder and President

Stuck in the Middle

Stuck in the Middle's mission is to reach middle school students with the good news of Jesus Christ. I don't think any other ministry can claim this as their sole focus. They are all about events and resources to minister to this under-served age group. This alone is good enough reason to partner with them. Throw on top of it, that my good friend, Sean Meade, is founder and president.

I am headed down to Kansas City next weekend to do a breakout session at the conference. This year’s theme is “The Story”. We’ll check out God's story from the beginning, and we’ll see how our own stories were created to connect up with His. Don’t miss this amazing event for middle school students. I believe there are a few spots open - you can register here.

Here is a description of my breakout session:

Put Yourself in the Story God is Telling
Too often we only read the Bible as someone else’s story. We want to help you put yourself in the story and allow the story to transform your life. We will learn how to explore scripture in a way that we can better absorb it and live it. More than just telling you to read and absorb, we will help you rediscover one of the church's oldest practices, Lectio Divina. Lectio Divinia is not just a technique but an attitude of prayerfully reading the Bible. Reading God’s story this way takes us right into a personal encounter with Jesus.

Our Middle School Kids in the News

The Oak Brook Doings

The Hinsdalean

Sitting Shivah with Middle School Students

So tonight is the first night I will see our students after the death of our Children's pastor. We're going to kick off the night with some worship, move into the video Nooma: Matthew, and then "Sit Shivah". Sitting Shivah is the Jewish mourning ritual of sitting with someone for seven days after a loved one has died. Sitting Shivah has two important purposes: honoring the dead and helping others deal with their loss. Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone mourning is to just sit with them and be ready to listen. Job’s friends did this for him in Job 2:13 when he suffered a great loss and was in extreme mourning.

"Suffering the loss of someone we love can be the most difficult thing in life to deal with. One moment we have them and the next they’re gone. What are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to feel? The truth is, there’s no certain way we’re “supposed” to feel. Whatever we’re feeling, it’s okay. It’s okay to feel shock, anger, denial or whatever we may feel. It’s okay. And if we don’t feel anything at all, that’s okay too. It’s okay to have no answers and no explanations. Because sometimes all the reasoning and comforting words in the world just isn’t what we need. What might help us however is to understand how Jesus dealt with this kind of loss." - Rob Bell, Nooma: Matthew

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied.
Jesus wept.
Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"
John 11:33-36

Steps to Journeying through Grief

1. Accept your feelings.
Whatever you’re feeling in this moment, it’s okay. It’s okay, it’s okay to feel numb, it’s okay to feel angry, shock, denial. It’s okay to have no answers, and no explanations, and maybe even no words. These are all natural reactions. Be gentle with yourself rather than criticizing your reactions. You have enough pain in your life. Don’t inflict any more upon yourself.

2. Let other people help you.
It’s easier to deal with grief when you can find someone to talk to about it. Think of someone who might be willing to listen in an understanding and supportive way. Is there a parent, pastor, Herd leader, or friend you would be comfortable talk to? Find people with whom you can laugh and cry and share memories of your loved one. Together you will begin to mend each other’s hurts.

3. Draw on God for healing.
When someone you love dies, it’s not unusual to feel angry at God: “This isn’t fair! You’re supposed to be a good God! Why did you let this happen?” Let God know you are hurt. You don’t need holy words – just speak from your heart. God understands your pain and suffers with you.

4. Be patient with yourself.
Grieving has many stages, which might include shock, numbness, denial, depression, confusion, fear, anger, bitterness, guilt, acceptance, hope. These stages come in any order, any number of times. Give yourself time to move through grief at your own pace and in your own individual way.

5. Express your thoughts and memories.
Write a letter expressing your thoughts, feelings, and words of appreciation. Tell her what she meant to you. Say the words that you didn't get a chance to say but always wanted to.

May you realize that Jesus wept.
And may you come to see that whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay.
May you make the choice not to become bitter and closed, but open.
And may you realize that God is sitting shivah* with you, fully present,
Grieving your loss… but also restoring.
And in that, may we find hope. - Rob Bell, Nooma: Matthew

30 Hour Famine

Actually, we raised more like $18,000, but we didn't want to waste a check by writing "VOID" across it.

Interviewing a middle-school-friendly, high-school-pastor

I don't know if that title makes any sense, but the idea is basically how do you interview a prospective high school pastor from a middle school pastor's perspective. That didn't make sense either.

My church is starting to bring in candidates for our open High School Pastor position, and they will all get to hang with me at some point. What questions should a middle school pastor ask a candidate for a high school pastor position?